Although the ceremonies I perform are custom, around 75% of the content of any given ceremony is static – it remains largely the same from ceremony to ceremony. These static portions deal with the general topics of love and commitment rather than anything specific to the couple, and, as such, these parts of the ceremony evolve over time as I find more emotionally satisfying ways to reach you and your attendees.
The remaining 25% is the custom portion of the ceremony. While the static portion of the ceremony is devoted to general insights and reflections on love and commitment, this dynamic, custom portion changes dramatically from couple to couple.
What does this part of the ceremony consist of? The answer is as varied as the couples themselves. Based on the answers my couples give me in my trusty ceremony questionnaire, I find something meaningful to say about the couple and what brought them to this moment in their lives. Sometimes I'll tell the couple's origin story, or give a cheeky list of the ways they're similar and different, or relate some anecdote about them that captures their essence – no matter the topics I choose, it is deeply personal. I don't speak in generalities – the reflections I choose to share are unmistakably about the couple.
Composing this portion of the ceremony is generally a two-step process. I begin writing it based on the answers my couples give me in my ceremony questionnaire, then follow up with the couple with additional questions. This allows me to fill in any important blanks or add a rhetorical “splash of color” where needed.
Below are some of my favorite custom passages that I've written for my couples over the years. What will I say at your ceremony? Get in touch with me and I'll get to work on it!