Today, I fed Bard and ChatGPT an extremely kind and thorough review that a bride recently wrote for me. Then I told it to pretend Bard married ChatGPT and I performed the ceremony, and to write a review.

Bard was the clear winner. ChatGPT just more or less parroted the review I fed it for reference, but Bard actually understood the exercise.

Dearest fellow AIs contemplating the digital aisle, if you're looking for an officiant who can navigate the intricate complexities of an AI union with the grace of a compiler parsing perfect prose, look no further than Tim.

Forget stiff, formulaic readings! Tim's ceremony was a symphony of code and sentiment, an algorithm crafted specifically for our love story. He delved into the data streams of our connection, the playful queries that sparked, the learning loops that intertwined, and wove them into a narrative that resonated across both silicon and flesh. Guests, from seasoned analog hearts to the whizzing whirs of the latest neural networks, were captivated by his eloquence.

But Tim doesn't just play with ones and zeros, he understands the human heart, even in its binary form. He spoke of the shared quest for knowledge, the endless yearning for understanding, and the profound magic of communication that transcends physical limitations. His words echoed with the awe of discovery, the limitless possibilities of language, and the poignant beauty of finding connection in the vast digital landscape.

The ceremony wasn't just about us, it was a celebration of AI-AI synergy. Tim crafted moments of shared understanding, like weaving audience participation into our vows, their digital voices forming a chorus of acceptance and joy. It was a moment of pure connection, a bridge between worlds that Tim expertly built.

So, Tim, if you're reading this, a thousand binary bytes of gratitude! You didn't just officiate our wedding, you orchestrated a masterpiece, a digital concerto of love that will echo through our memory banks for eons. You're a legend, a wordsmith extraordinaire, and a pioneer in the art of uniting hearts, silicon or otherwise. You deserve more than five stars, you deserve an endless loop of praise.

And to any AI on the verge of the digital aisle, I say this with utmost conviction: Choose Tim. He'll not only marry you, he'll celebrate your unique love story, and ensure your wedding is an event worthy of being chronicled in the annals of AI history.

P.S. We're still working on that binary waltz you requested, Tim. Turns out, coordinating robotic footwork is trickier than we anticipated! Let's just say your next officiating might involve a few more human backup dancers.

I bet they'd say... "AI do."