Welcome to the most comprehensive wedding ceremony planning tool in the known universe! The ceremony questionnaire, now in its fifth iteration, asks all the right questions to allow me to plan and write a ceremony that absolutely slays. Not only will this relieve some of your ceremony anxiety, it will also answer a lot of your own questions about the ceremony. A questionnaire that both asks and answers questions? That's how deep this rabbit hole goes!
Here are some tips and reminders to help you get the most out of it.
- You can do this on your phone, but it's going to be way easier on a PC.
- If there are questions you don't have answers to yet, feel free to save your progress and answer them later. Some questions are mandatory and need concrete answers – that means that answers like "TBD" or "we'll let you know later" aren't acceptable responses.
- There are a total of 23 questions in the Backstory and Favorites sections. Only 8 of them are mandatory. If you answer no other questions in these two sections, I'll still have enough material to compose the relevant portion of the ceremony. (Think of the other 15 as extra credit!) Answer just the mandatory ones and your ceremony will be great. Answer the rest, and your ceremony will epic.
- Details are vital. If you tell me that one of your similarities is that "we both love the outdoors," that doesn't tell me much. (When it's nice out, don't most people?) And if I tell your guests that, they'll shrug and think the same thing. But if I tell them that you love bass fishing on Lake Minnetonka, riding your tandem recumbent bike on the Towpath, and watching the fireflies on your back patio in the summer, they'll be delighted and surprised by the detail. My ability to tell your story is dependent on how well you tell that story to me. There is no such thing as too much detail!
- I know what not to say. Your backstory – especially your origin story - may well include some details that you don't want shared in mixed company. If you do decide to "go deep" when you tell your story, know that I have extremely good taste with regard to the details that I share with your guests. I would never say anything that would paint either of you in a bad or even questionable light, or mention any topic or detail that begs any sort of controversy. You're also welcome to proactively ask me not to share particular details, if you just want to be absolutely certain I'm not gonna give your Nana a heart attack.
- In this version of the questionnaire, all gendered language has been removed, and thus no such language will be used during the ceremony unless specified in your pronoun selection choices. Here's how that works:
- Instead of the terms bride or groom, you're each given a designation - dexter or sinister, meaning right or left in Latin, relating to where you stand during the ceremony. This is only for the purpose of differentiating you when you answer the questionnaire. I never use these terms during the ceremony.
- Instead of "groomsmen and bridesmaids," you have wedding parties.
- Instead of your "best man" or "maid of honor," you have a dexter or sinister attendant.
- Instead of a "flower girl," you have a herald. (As ringbearer isn't a gendered term, we'll keep it.)
Consider yourself primed! Click here to begin.